Today has been highly changeable and largely cruddy weather here, and the first day that's felt somewhat wintery. It started out gusty and rainy, and finished gusty, rainy, with occasional downpours and even a hail storm. But in the middle there were fine bits - times where the wind dropped down to a breeze, the sun came out and the roads and driveway even dried off.
It hit me, as I was driving to the post shop today to post off some things I've sold on TradeMe, that when I worked - always in an office - I'd miss all that. I'd drive to work in the blustery rain, and drive back in the same, and therefore the 'whole day' was rainy and miserable. This despite the fact that in both office jobs I've worked at over here I've been reasonably near a large window, and when it cleared up, I could see that it had cleared up - but because it wasn't really even an option for me to be 'in' it, somehow it didn't count. Now that I'm a stay-at-home-mother, homemaker, housewife, lady who lunches, whatever you want to call it - now I know that we've had at least four seasons in one day, and on a swiftly rotating cycle at that. Today in fact I managed to get out and take a walk with Z in the stroller, and timed it just right in that while it was still quite crisp, it was sunny and dry and really was a lovely day, for that time when I was outside. I also took a bit of pleasure in the fact that not more than five minutes after we'd gotten home, it was raining again.
I'm starting to think that my current 'job' - my life of trying to create a healthy, safe, welcoming, and loving home, is a lot like today's weather. There's a lot of bits about this job description that are quite crappy - literally. The 24/7 schedule, with no time off allowed for sickness or vacations, is demanding and enough to depress even the heartiest of people. However, when you look closely, there's lots of little breaks - time when she's sleeping, or that 20 minutes when out with coffee with another mom, that allows downtime here and there so it doesn't feel like such a constant battle. And then there's the bouts of true sunshine - when my daughter laughs at me holding clothepegs in my mouth or dancing around like an idiot - or when I walk into her room after she's had a sleep and her face just lights up at the sight of me - or that determined and excited crawl she breaks into when she's off on an "adventure" - these are the moments I work for. These are the times that melt your heart, the sunny bits within the day that a different person, in a different situation, wouldn't even see. These are the moments I live for.
