Paranoia

I'm starting to figure out that at any time a strong issue is concerned around parenting, there will be at least two, very hotly debated, sides.

And if that issue has associated research that's even vaguely inconclusive, things get out of hand.

My interest of late is regarding SIDS.

It started with a creeping paranoia, just a back-of-the-mind niggle that it 'could' happen. As far as I knew I did things right - Zamara always sleeps on her back, isn't around any form of smoke, and is breastfed. After that, I figured there wasn't much else I could do as those were the only things "proven" to reduce incidents of SIDS.

But being the honor student I am, I started doing research anyway. That's where things get foggy.

SIDS has no known, proven, reliable, cause. That is, after all, the point. If a clear cause is found, it's not attributed to SIDS. Apparently what this also means is that everybody and their brother, whether medically qualified or not, has an opinion on what does cause SIDS. And those opinions are rampant with conspiracy theories.

I did find articles - mostly geared towards Joe Schmo the parent - stating exactly what I thought I knew. Put baby on her back and don't smoke.

But I also found articles saying everything else. There were those saying that breastfed babies do have a better chance, and those that say there's no evidence to suggest that. There's some thought that babies sleeping too deeply (and anything that would cause that) causes SIDS. There's others that reckon it's toxic gases being admitted from "nasty chemicals" in anything remotely around the crib - baby's clothes, bedclothes, mattresses, bumpers, toys, even the surface of couches. There's a whole other group of people who swear SIDS is directly related to vaccinations and keeping babe un-immunized is a guaranteed way to prevent SIDS. (Sure, babes will just die of meningicocal disease instead... ) There's evidence suggesting that sucking during sleep (on a breast, a pacifier, or a hand/finger) prevents SIDS and still more evidence saying it's 'inconclusive'. There are those that suggest sleeping baby in a hammock (in supine position) is safe, and of course the standard 'inconclusive' research. Similarly, "they" can't even agree on whether breastfeeding reduces the risk or not. I've read evidence that says that co-sleeping provides the lowest incidence of SIDS and still more that says to never, ever, co-sleep because it's so "dangerous". I've even talked to parents (on bulletin boards) who suggest that back sleeping isn't the safest because then baby will just choke on his/her spit-up. (Which research does agree is wrong, but there's no arguing with some people...)

And you would not believe the amount of products for sale each claiming they prevent SIDS. These run the gamut from the "Safe-T-Sleep" wraps to organic bedding to chiropractic care to plastic mattress wrapping to baby hammocks to baby monitors.

I began my informal investigation hoping to find answers to allay my mounting paranoia about SIDS. The more I find the more I realise that for the moment, there really aren't any answers that can 100% guarantee a safe baby. However, applying a healthy dose of common sense seems to do the trick for most people.

And strangely enough, in the end I'm comforted by sheer numbers. SIDS is still the leading cause of death in the developed world of infants aged 1 - 12 months. However, incidence of SIDS is in reality incredibly low. Even in NZ, which has an overall high rate of SIDS, the official rate is around 0.8 for every 1000 live births. Similarly, she doesn't have any unpreventable risk factors - she's not low birthweight, wasn't premature, is of the right ethnicity (though whether that truly has to do with ethnicity rather than socio-economic status is undetermined) and even the right gender, as SIDS happens less often in girls.

The bottom line, really, is this. I didn't find out what causes SIDS because the jury is still out on that. But I did find out that I'm doing everything I can do to prevent it, and I have both luck and sheer numbers on my side. And if I now have a very expensive, movement-detecting, baby monitor as well.... we can chalk that up to peace of mind. And perhaps very clever marketing.

Learn Something Every Day

Things most people don't know about me:

1. I feel like a big kid in an adult world. I am afraid that one of these days, someone's going to find me out.
2. I have to make a concerted effort to be social. When I am, I enjoy it, but left to my own devices I would be a loner.
3. I like dogs more than I like cats, but cats are easier to live with.
4. I am obsessive but not to the point of dysfunction.
5. I hate small talk with those I don't know well but don't mind it with those I'm close with.
6. When I really care about getting something right, I usually self-sabatoge.

A case of the Mondays

I should be getting dinner sorted but I really don't wanna.

I have somewhere I'm supposed to go tonight, but I really don't wanna. I'm able to take Z with me, but I still don't wanna. (Though considering it's a group of people whom I don't know, taking her might help... Z's a great icebreaker)

I'd much rather stay on The Nappy Network and/or knit (or both!) tonight.

Guess I'm suffering from an overall lack of motivation.... at least, motivation to do the things I'm supposed to do vs. those I want to do!

It's a tough life...

... when you're a cat.

At least, when you're a cat in a house with a baby.

Spike has been sulking for the past 24 hours or so. And possibly rightly so.

He's a sweet cat. He's also very much a one-person cat, and I'm his person. Unfortunately for him, I'm also Zamara's person, and she cries louder.

He's come up to me and curled up in my lap, contented just to sit there and purr while I play on my laptop, and right as he settles in Zamara needs tending to.

He's sat on the only clear spot on the couch to be shoved off when I need to feed Z.

He's tried to follow me from room to room only to be kicked when he gets underfoot.

He can't even get decent sleep at night. The other night he was curled up on my legs, and then I needed to get up to feed Z. Even though I feed her lying down, by the time I got back in bed he'd shifted into my spot and had to be 'nudged' out.

So now he wanders around looking vaguely affronted.

It's a tough life being a cat.

Branching Out

For those of you with lots of time on your hands... I've started a new blog.

Coulda Shoulda Woulda

Last night I went to bed with a mental to-do list for today. Don would be at work (and thus out of my way) and Z, I figured, sleeps most of the time anyway. Plenty of time to do what needed to get done.

My main goal was to completely clear out the bedroom of all clutter. Cleaning it as well (i.e., dusting, vaccuming) would be an added bonus but honestly was low on the list, at least for today. The main thing was, I wanted a presentable bedroom. One that felt open and welcoming and not shrinking and suffocating, for either myself or hubby.

So, today. Today I:

• Emptied the dishwasher
• Loaded and ran another load of dishes
• Washed a load of nappies
• Hung stained nappies in the sun (as UV rays are the best stain remover) and tumble dried the rest
• Washed a load of baby clothes / wraps / gear
• Hung load of baby stuff on line (and later brought in)
• Stripped the bed down to the bare mattress
• Aired the mattress and rotated before returning it
• Washed the mattress protector (in a load by itself)
• Washed the bed linen
• Tumble dried the bed linen - twice, as the first time was very splotchy
• Put the sheets and blankets on the cot "properly"
• Moved the racking / shelf unit that Z's things are stored on into her room
• Repositioned Z's change table and moved all the nappies to the storage compartment on the bottom of the change table
• Reorganised a box of my books-to-be-read (though there's at least as many left to do)
• Cleared underneath the bed
• Posted flickr photos
• Rounded up 3 pairs of footwear to donate to Women's Refuge
• Made bed up with clean linen

All in between feeding, changing, and playing with Zamara. Also managed to find and heat myself some leftover pizza, and later made a box of macaroni and cheese for my dinner.

And yet I feel completely unproductive. I look around the bedroom and see a bigger mess than when I started. And I have no idea how I'm going to organise it all.

Developments, Progress and Observations

I've been wondering a lot lately about the direction of this blog. Interestingly, I haven't been doubting keeping it - I've found that as rare as I use it, I really like having the space to dash down my thoughts and see if I can make any sense of them. But at the same time I've been in school long enough that to write without having an overall driving theme just seems weird to me. So I've thought about specifically making this a baby blog, with Z's latest happenings and developments, or about making it closer to a day-in-the-life blog, or about making it into a knitting blog. At the moment though I'm thinking I'll just keep it as it is, and tell the theme police that live in my head where to shove it :-D

In light of that, here are some random observations I've had in the past 24 hours or so:

• My pelvic floor muscles are not what they used to be
• Knitting has zen-like properties - but not when using double-pointed needles
• How soon Z spits up on her clothes has an inverse relationship to how much I want to keep said outfit looking cute
• Having a functional tumble dryer guarantees good weather
• It is probably time to get rid of some books
• It is past time for hubby to get rid of some computers
• Drive-thru's were invented for mothers of young children. And a drive-thru bank or pharmacy is NOT a weird idea!
  
• Giving is catching :-)
  
• Colds are catching, too :-(
  
• Sometimes being sick is a blessing in disguise.
• A new mother who hasn't showered for days becomes oblivious to her own smell.
• Her husband does not