Musings

Random updates on my life, my thought processes, and.... well, musings.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Zamara Jade - 17


Zamara Jade - 17
Originally uploaded by KiwiWonder.
On Monday evening, July 17th, as I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, my waters broke around 5:15 or so. After *finally* getting some of the gushing / leaking under control (enough to come out of the bathroom at least) we rang the midwife, who said that I should try to get some sleep, a bit to eat, and that labour would 'probably' start spontaneously sometime tonight, and to give her another ring if it hadn't started in earnest by morning. (and of course I'm to ring once contractions get regular - possibly several times - to help her judge when to go in to the hospital)

I also rang Jen, the doula to put her on notice, though I didn't need her yet, and she said much the same - have a good dinner, take a walk, then have as much a sleep as possible, and ring when I need her support.

Don took the turkey roast I'd had defrosting in the fridge next door for Joy (his mother) to cook for us (as both of us figured I didn't need to worry about cooking dinner with all things considered) The two of them also properly installed our car seat (we'd had the anchor point installed professionally but hadn't actually set the seat up yet).

I rang my mother who, after an initial burst of extreme cluckiness, was able to talk a bit - just general chit chat and also baby talk. she kept the "my baby's having a baby!" stuff to a minimum which is good cause it embarrasses me (she can do that with grandma, anyways)

We threw some more stuff in the postnatal bag (some of which was only washed today, some of which had been here a ccouple days but just sitting outside the bag) and have the bag mostly ready, sitting by the door.

I watched a couple programs on TV, ate dinner when it arrived (don cooked the veggies), and drank some water. I read a bit, but wasn't actually tired. When the good programs finished on TV, I turned it off, turned off the light and tried to sleep. Don took his mom on a test drive of our car (as she's driving it in to meet us at the hospital after delivery, to help with the transfer) and picked up some more of the super-duper-thick pads that are somewhere between maternity pads and incontinence pads as I've been soaking through about one every two hours and really hadn't planned on needing so many as I was planning them for the postnatal period!

I paced around the house (deliberately) for about 15 minutes.

I went to bed around midnight and tried to sleep - did manage to get reasonably solid sleep from 12 - 1am, woke at 1 to minor contractions; though nothing too much stronger than average period pains. I took some Panadol (equivalent to Tylenol) as was reccommended by my midwife, largely in the hopes of being able to get more sleep. I ‘rested’ from 1 til about 3:30am but didn’t really sleep, mostly due to excitement / anxiety rather than any real pain. Roughly around 3am contractions were noticeably stronger. They were still quite manageable, but the kind that required some focusing, rather than being able to cruise along undistracted. At this point it was fairly clear that the window for sleep had passed - and this is also around the time where Don (who’d been trying to sleep all night) finally conked out.

I shuffled around, trying to keep myself distracted, for roughly two hours, mostly reading (last minute cramming in my pregnancy / labour / baby books because I AM that anal) and kept reasonably horizontal (i.e., hands and knees) for most of the time as I’d heard that was often a good position to encourage baby to turn (as at last report she was still postrerior - i.e., her back to my back rather than the more favourable face to back) Around 5am I woke Don, for his support and distraction as well, and at this point gave up reading and other activities. Contractions were roughly 8 - 9 minutes apart, though still fairly irregular.

At 6:30am, contractions were only slightly closer together (5 - 7 minutes apart) but felt noticeably stronger, and we started making calls - one to the midwife, just to update her on the situation (as I wasn’t wanting to go to hospital yet) and one to the doula, as I figured now was the time to call on her services (allowing for the fact she’d need an hour or so to get everything sorted and get here, especially from across town in morning rush hour) She advised to stay as upright as possible (to help baby descend) and to make sure I was drinking. I’d gone through 1.5 litres of water already, but definitely took her advice on board.

Jen (the doula) arrived at 7:30 - gave me a small back massage (which was nice, though not crucial, as I wasn’t having too bad of back labour) and started me walking up and down the hallway (as parading along the very busy road we live on - again in rush hour, and in the cold - wasn’t appealing!) She gave Don tasks - everything from making sure he ate a solid breakfast to finalising the labour and post-partum baggage.

At 10:30 I’d had enough - the contractions were still roughly 5 minutes apart, sometimes longer, but were significantly more intense, often with accompanying back labour. I called the midwife and she wasn’t terribly impressed (i.e., I wasn’t in ANY danger of a home delivery) but we agreed to meet at the hospital and discuss options for additional pain management. We piled into Jen’s van (the in-laws were driving our car to the hospital later) and made the trip to the hospital. Once there, Lee (the midwife) took my vitals and strapped me to a monitor that charts contractions and fetal heartbeat, and did an exam. After all that, I was only 3 cm dilated, and the baby was still fairly high up and in the posterior position, which was just about the last thing I wanted to hear. Lee also noted that I was significantly dehydrated, and my blood pressure was quite low, so she hooked me up to an IV line and started a drip. After some discussion (and suitable reminders from Jen on all the reasons why I didn’t want one) I asked (begged?) for an epidural - particularly as Lee assured me that the current guy on duty was both readily available and her favorite. (“I’d trust him with my life” she said). He was called, and after finishing someone down the hall, came straight there to administer it. He explained the process, I had a contraction, then he administered the epidural, and finished just before the next one - by which time I was already feeling some relief. The guy really was a wizard - the epidural was fully in effect in less than 10 minutes, and I didn’t lose all feeling (I felt a “pressure” during contractions, but not actual pain) and I still had some limited movement of my hips and legs.

It was only then (and wisely so) that Lee said that it was now time to focus on the labour - specifically, on enhancing it, as it’d been 18 hours since my membranes had ruptured and I was still quite far from delivery. She asked for consent to administer syntocin (artificial oxytocin) to get contractions moving - both more regular and stronger - in the hopes of getting baby descended, the cervix dilated, and finally, delivery. It was a good job she waited, as I think I would have completely lost the plot if she’d suggested this while I was still just barely coping with what contractions I had - I definitely would have gotten the epidural then, but this way I didn’t feel at all ‘pressured’ into getting one, and I think I might have otherwise. So I agreed to the drug, and then focused on getting some sleep as I was beyond exhaustion.

I slept / dozed for around two and a half hours, at times vaguely aware of my surroundings, and at times, not. At one point in that time I woke up and asked for a top up of the epidural, as the pressure I felt was getting to the point of ‘work’ again. It was given (Lee was able to top it up herself) and I went back to sleep. Don also got some sleep, and sanity was restored to all.

I woke up to Lee hovering straight over me - whether waking me was the intended effect or not, I’m not sure. “It’s time to have a baby!” she said, to which I think I was rather stunned. She explained that while I was sleeping, the syntocin did it’s job - baby had dropped and rotated, and the cervix was at full dilation (though now that I was awake, she did an exam just to double check, but of course she was right). And - now it was time to push! She also reckoned that my epidural, based on when I’d asked for a top up, would likely be waning now, which was a good time to catch it. I’d be able to fully feel the prescence of contractions, without feeling the real pain of them. So - things were set up, and pushing was begun. Jen held one of my legs while Lee held the other, to recreate a squatting position, only lying semi-reclined. I was just told to act as if I needed to do a massive poo - which was easy really, as with the pressure of the contractions, that’s exactly what I felt like - and to push. They cheered me on (and guided me when to breathe) and I’m told I’m quite a good pusher. A mirror was set up, so I had full view of the proceedings (while pushing at least) which I hadn’t anticipated liking but in reality was quite glad for. Don was around too - another thing that I wasn’t expecting, as everyone who knows him knows he’s squeamish around the sight of blood, to the point of being known to pass out. At one point it became clear that I’d need an episiotomy (the cut in the perenium) as a tear was in the beginning, and Lee said that it looked like it’d quickly (in one push) go from the early phases to a third degree tear and likely wanted to prevent that, and control the direction (as episiotomies now days are usually done diagonally, rather than vertically) I didn’t watch while it was performed - though the sound effect wasn’t terribly wonderful either. Jen, however, did watch, and the process made her quite faint! After that, the baby’s head was out in fairly short order, followed on the next contraction by the rest of the body. Lee offered Don the chance to ‘catch’ the baby, but he declined. He still insists that the only reason he said no was that his hands were dirty and there wasn’t time to wash them. Knowing Don, I believe him (he’s slightly germ-phobic) so Lee eased the baby out and placed her on my belly, and shortly thereafter Don was offered the opportunity to cut the cord, which he accepted (and says now that doing so was cool and not gross at all.)

I looked for the sex, and saw we’d had a girl, which I told Donovan. She was completely covered in the white vernix, which Lee says is quite unusual for a 39 week baby - and thus she now thinks I was more like 38 weeks. Lee says that the amount of vernix was actually higher than average for 38 weeks even, but that the baby can’t have been younger than that, from all the other signs. Her APGAR scores were 9 and 10 respectively, so she was in great shape from the very get go. Her weight (which we took quite a bit later on) was 3.02 kg, or 6.65 lbs.

Don went rushing out to announce the birth to Joy (his mother) waiting in the hallway - then came rushing back in. “It is a girl, right?” We invited him to look for himself just to be sure, which he did, then announced it outside. They asked me if I minded if Joy came in, and I said she was free to - I wasn’t exactly “decent” but figured it was nothing she hadn’t seen before, and if she wasn’t bothered, I certainly wasn’t going to worry about it. n all the hubub, we realised later than the ‘official’ time of birth was never noted. When we brought Joy in she said she was fairly certain that she’d heard a cry right around 3:35, so we’ve used that as time of birth - in any case Lee knows that it was roughly 3:30.

We’ve named her Zamara Jade. It was the name both of us liked best for a girl - I originally was sure I’d created the name Zamara, but Don says he found it on a baby names website, with a meaning as well - but now that we’ve looked for it, we can’t find it. (We’ve found a couple sites that list it as a name, but none that have a meaning listed.) We’re both working on settling in to being home. She’s generally an extremely good natured baby, she sleeps well (and puts herself to sleep) as long as she’s not overtired, and was breastfeeding relatively well (considering both of us are still learning how) at Birthcare, but on our last night at Birthcare (and continuing on) she’s started having feeding dramas - mostly asking for feeds then refusing to latch on (or she latches, and takes a couple sucks, then cries and/or spits it out). I did consult the midwife on duty before we left Birthcare, who watched the whole process, and said that I was doing everything she’d reccomend, anyway. She said Zamara’s antics are a classic sign of having wind, but burping her doesn’t usually help. I’ve also discovered that Zamara is a much better feeder on my left side than my right, though I can usually get her to take the right side if I’m lying down (on my side). I hope to improve that in the next couple weeks, but right now I’m working on taking it slowly, as I know that learning to breastfeed really is a process rather than an overnight thing. I’m also working on establishing a rudimentry routine with her - one I’ve read in several different baby books now, the most known of which is the ‘Secrets of the Baby Whisperer’. Other than that, I’m concentrating on eating, drinking, and sleeping, relegating everything else (like this post!) to the “if I feel like it and have time” catergory.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Life Plans

Due to a discussion on a forum I visit at The Nappy Network I've been motivated to reflect not just on where I am at the moment, but how I got here, and where I'm going from here.

There's a quote I love, that says that "we are all, right now, living the life we choose" which I've come to believe in quite strongly over the past year or two. With that in mind, I present a very vague life plan :-)

Original plan:
Go to university (in the states), get started on a career, find a life partner, have kids whilst maintaining a rewarding career.

Reality:

Next 6 weeks:
Have this baby already Smile
Figure out breastfeeding
Figure out cloth nappies (in a much more hands-on way at least Razz )
Establish a vague routine
Figure out a workable budget between me and DH so that I can spend at least the first year at home with Bubs

Next 6 months:
Knit my baby blanket (which I've got the yarn for but haven't started yet)
Get Bub a passport
Fly overseas for an extended visit with family

Next 1 - 2 years:
Figure out a way to be a WAHM (work-at-home-mum)
Finish my B.A.
Get out of credit card debt

Next 2 - 5 years:
Pay off car
Have more Bubbas Very Happy
Establish a long-term savings plan
Sell current house
Buy bigger house, ideally for the long-term future and/or on a lifestyle section
Pay off debt to family
Help DH get set up in a more long-term, ideal career, be it self employed or at a role with more mental challenge and room for progression

Next 10 years:
Pay off student loan

Next 20-25 years:
Be mortgage-free