A quiet acceptance....

I figure it must be the combination of pregnancy hormones kicking in and being off work for two weeks now, but this is the first couple of days that I've felt calmly accepting of the whole pregnancy process. I wouldn't say we're "ready" for the baby, at least not in the traditional sense with nursery prepared and everything bought. But emotionally I think I'm either there or getting there - as close to prepared as a relatively clueless first time mother can be.

Even thinking of the list of stuff still to do doesn't really phase me. There's the cot to be assembled, the mattress and cot linen to be bought, the pram and sling to be purchased, the labour and postnatal bag to be put together, several nights worth of dinners to be cooked and frozen in preparation, and with any luck, the house to be at least mostly de-cluttered, if not cleaned. Not to mention my hubby's part in this - such as actually clearing the nursery so we have somewhere to put all of the above. But I'm not worried. I honeslty think I could have the baby today and wouldn't stress about it - though logically of course, I'd prefer to wait until I'm full term, both for babe's sake and mine.

Being pregnant really does change perspectives on things. I've been going through my things, originally in an effort to both de-clutter and find stuff to sell to make money, and in doing so I'm finding that it's a lot easier to let go of things I previously couldn't. Everything from CDs that used to really speak to me but I haven't listened to in a number of years, to books held on to with the promise of re-reading that never happens, to excess clothes and shoes that really I don't need, to the miscellaneous odds and ends that we seem to be so good at collecting but that have no real meaning to us. When I began this process I was quite worried that I'd end up selling all of "me" to finance the baby, but instead I find that clearing out the stuff is a form of freedom rather than entrapment. I don't need all of this stuff - most of it I haven't honestly used in ages anyway, but always thought I 'couldn't' sell. The process started because I needed the money, but continues because my priorities have changed.